Originally published March 16, 1984, by Mike Barnicle for The Boston Globe
With snow covering much of the ground and political bull filling a lot of our air, it is time to pay attention to something truly important. In case you have not noticed, the Olde Towne Team is at it again down in Winter Haven, Fla.
This means that one of life’s major and constant disappointments is on the verge of heading north. Within a month’s time, the Red Sox will be back in Boston teasing, thrilling and tormenting men, women and children from Brattleboro to Block Island.
This year will be no different. The lineup will be studded with bats capable of knocking down “The Wall” and a middle infield incapable of picking up a piece of Kleenex.
They will roar out of the gate in a streak of 1411 ballgames. By early June, sportswriters will be tagging them as a team to watch and papers will be running small headlines claiming that “Pennant Fever Grips Hub.”
But July brings heat and reality. The shortstop and the second basemen will be looking like back of the pack finishers in a marathon.
With August, the month of doubleheaders, the Olde Towne Team’s pitching staff labeled “the best in memory” 120 days earlier will be in more disarray than the Iranian government. They will have absorbed more hits than Pete Rademacher.
Yet, reality and phenoms aside, baseball remains a pleasant thought at the back edge of winter. And, around here, the Red Sox are bigger than baseball, larger than life itself. They are your proverbial “institution.”
So, to get in the swing of things this morning, we have a short quiz for lovers of the game and the Olde Towne Team. Perhaps it will make you feel that spring is really at the doorstep.
Q. Who was the biggest dog ever to play at Fenway Park?
A. A black Labrador retriever from Brookline named Chief. He showed up on Easter Sunday in l965, when the Orioles were playing the Red Sox. Lee (Mad Dog) Thomas hit a ground rule double into the seats in right field, and when the ball bounded back onto the field so did Chief. He retrieved the ball very quickly, so fast, in fact, that Dick O’Connell, then the general manager, thought about signing him. But, like the rest of the Sox outfield, the Lab had no arm and couldn’t hit the cutoff man.
Q. What is the best Red Sox dog story?
A. Easy. In l955, Ellis Kinder crashed his car into a Brookline telephone pole at 2:30 a.m. He said the accident happened because he swerved trying to avoid hitting a dog. He was out injured for 12 days. When he got back in uniform, he must have thought home plate resembled a dog because he never hit that again either.
Q. What is the best Ellis Kinder story?
A. Again, an easy one: After a rough night on the town in the summer of l950, Kinder, a great relief pitcher, was hit in the chest when the catcher threw him the warmup ball. He looked around, but couldn’t find it. He couldn’t find his face that day. Nor could he find the plate. And he couldn’t understand Birdie Tebbetts’ signals, either, so they took him out of the game and said his arm hurt. Kinder walked off the field holding his left elbow. He was right handed.
Q. What was the longest drive by a Red Sox player?
A. In June l961, the late Jackie Jensen, afraid of airplanes, drove all night long to Detroit where the Sox were playing the Tigers. He should have stopped for a tuneup because he went O for 5 in the Motor City. Jensen soon retired for the second time. His slot on the roster was taken by a succession of young outfielders who didn’t mind plane flights but were petrified of fly balls.
Q. Who was the hottest Red Sox player ever?
A. On August 26, l947, Rudy York’s mattress caught fire in the old Myles Standish hotel. He managed to wake up, grab the mattress and flip it out the window on to Beacon street. Rudy could really pickle the ball. He was a big, strong righthand hitting first baseman who left a little to be desired in the field. Too bad for him that nobody hit Sealy Posturepedics down the line.
Q. What is the best slump story?
A. Luis Aparicio went hitless for 11 games in l971. The goose eggs ended on June 1 when the little shortstop got a single, but after two more hitless games, he went 1 for 55 before getting the following note from an old baseball fan: “In my own career I have experienced long periods when I couldn’t seem to get a hit, regardless of how hard I tried, but in the end I was able to hit a home run.” The note was from Richard Nixon. His home run was later called back by the House Judiciary Committee after the Watergate captain got caught stealing and was ejected from the game.
###